01.26.14

 

by: F.I.T.N.F

 

This past fall a few dozen sisters made their way up to midtown Manhattan for a chance to spend an evening with two pop culture luminaries. Groundbreaking author, journalist and cultural critic, Joan Morgan joined Image activist, journalist, stylist and fellow cultural critic Micheala Angela Davis for a candid conversation about the "F-bomb" or life in the forties. The talk was moderated by the ever on-point, Jamilah Lemieux, News & Lifestyle Editor for Ebony.com and founder of the popular blog, the Beautiful Struggler. 

 

Not known to pull punches, both Morgan and Davis used their time with the mostly twenty and thirty - something audience doling out tips and advice for navigating the personal and professional *before* the big 4-0. Michaela joked about her resentment towards today's crowd for having things a bit easier ("where was Forever 21 when I was spending half of my check on Gaultier!") but she also talked about the small crew of people who looked like her in the fashion industry when she started. "I remember when there were just about four or five of us at the runway shows and there were no bloggers or internet like there is now," she said."It's still a challenge for Black girls to get into some of these spaces but nowadays there are also enormous opportunities for young, Black women to invent or re-invent themselves," shared Davis. Her advice: "You have got to understand the political and economic climate you’re in and create your own shit." 

 

On being in her forties, Joan Morgan, who is 48 and whose twitter handle is @milfnainteasy, said, "I never had that aging thing, I couldn't WAIT to turn forty. I'm Jamaican and in Jamaica you don't claim the right to be sexy until you have some hips!" Joan warned this generation against seeking instant gratification. "What I see is people spending a lot of time on networking and not enough on the grind. Why do you have a business card? What's your business?" Joan was clear with the audience about over doing the schmoozing, "Don't give me your business card. I'm not going to reach out to you. I'm just not. I'm incredibly busy." "Instead," she advised the group, "Let me know you by your work. Let your work be so fierce that I feel like I need to reach out to you and know more about what you’re doing. But the operative word in that is fierce." 

 

The question and answer portion was brief but it allowed the women to answer a few questions about balancing their professional and personal lives. Michaela talked about her wonderful experience co-parenting with her daughter's father. "I never say that I was a single mother I was an unmarried mother, but I never did this single. It was a partnership." Joan turned the heat up a bit when she brought up the topic of having children versus having a career and that taboo notion of the biological clock. "You have a window and that window is real. You have to make a decision and make your peace. If you’re undecided, freeze your eggs, there's no shame in it. The point is if you want to be a parent you should be proactive, it may not just figure itself out." 

 

The discussion ended with just about everyone agreeing that it was over too soon. Michaela hinted at some possible future plans when she asked if the audience would like to see this talk turn into a series - everyone agreed. Joan Morgan closed out with perhaps the most sage advice, "Stop asking for permission and invent your life. Just do it! There's no blueprint and no script except the one you write." 

 

Wise words indeed.